I write because of the way that I am. I write because my tongue cannot express what my heart wants to. Words have power and power makes us. I tread on these dark roads every day wondering, ‘Why am I here and how do I do this life thing’? I am a machine without a manual. But then again humans do not usually read instructions anyway so there must be worth in this world then. There is worth in us creating music, art, cellphones and even shoelaces. We have created so much perfection that it is foolish of us to want to be perfect as well.
I write, I write, I write and then all of a sudden…it is too overwhelming. But I cannot stop forever, I need to keep myself busy. I write like the ocean moving and swelling and flowing. Other days I am just staring at the writing which is like foundation which has not been blended well.
I write when I’m lying on my bed thinking of my lost love. Is he thinking about me? If only… I should have. How could he? Am I wrong to be thinking of him so much?
I write because it calms me, it makes me forget about my troubles which in turn makes me happy. This is why I write, it brings me joy.
Being vocal is something I do effortlessly and endlessly but speaking my mind through paper and pen, now that really gets the message out. This business of writing on a computer screen does not sit well with me however. My writing isn’t natural. There is a robot staring right back at me, watching. I write for myself, it is a sacred action and my diary is my most loyal friend. Listening without judging, finding comfort in security and knowing it will always be there as a catharsis.
I write because the written word is a cathartic flame destroying everything in its path and my voice becomes silently awake. Awake in trying to fight the patriarchy which we live in. I am a feminist through and through and I cannot always say what I would like to freely. Sometimes I am shut off because I am Black, a woman, heterosexual or cisgender with a statement like ‘This is not your place’. When I write it is my place and that is why I write.


